He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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