i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
