I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize