Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
