i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
