If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
