My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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