You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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