I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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