is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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