ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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