can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
