I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
