I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
