all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
