I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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