It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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