After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
