Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
