I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize