My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
as a side note pls kill me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
