What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
