Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
