just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
