One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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