just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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