My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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