think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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