oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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