It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
