I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
