Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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