i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is wine microwaveable?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize