we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
