Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
