I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
