what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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