i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
