Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
