I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
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A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need to calm my uterus...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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