Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
