don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize