he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
