it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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