he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
