Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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