I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
