It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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