i think my mom watched the whole time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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