Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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