just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude. I can hear the air.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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