My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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