last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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