just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
