STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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