This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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