Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
