Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
please come you make the beer taste better
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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