Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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