I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
