I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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