I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
