I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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