Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
