I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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