I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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