it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize