he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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